Royane Real
Stop Being Late For Everything
By Royane Real
Are you one of those people who is always late? Do you want to overcome your lateness, or do you think your lateness isn't really a serious problem? If you’re constantly late, even if you don't think that your lateness is a problem, the people around you probably do.
Many people who are constantly late don’t take their lateness very seriously. They tell themselves that being late is just a personal quirk, a part of their charm. Chances are that nobody else thinks their lateness is charming.
What makes some people always late? How can people learn to be on time?
First, it’s important to know that not every culture thinks that being late is a problem. Some cultures have a very loose, elastic conception of time. For example, it you are late in some South American countries, this is seen as a sign that you have personal and professional power. In those cultures, being on time is a signal that you are a relatively powerless person.
However, in most European countries and in most of North America, being on time is considered an important social and professional quality.
In Europe, being on time for meetings and appointments shows that you are a conscientious person with integrity. Being on time shows that you have respect for those around you. On the other hand, being late is viewed by Europeans as a sign that you don’t value the time of those around you.
Still, even in very time conscious cultures such as Europe and North America, there are some people who are always consistently late. These people are not just late once in a while, they are late all the time. In fact, if these people ever show up to a meeting on time, it’s probably accidental.
How is it that some people are always so consistently late?
One reason is that people who are always late really don’t believe that the feelings of other people are important. They are willing to ignore the inconvenience that they cause to other people. They are willing to ignore or deny the anger or hurt that they cause, believing instead that the bad emotions will quickly blow over and be forgotten. They are willing to blow off their own responsibility by saying, “You should know by now that I’m usually a bit late.”
In spite of many hundreds of instances where they show up late for appointments, these people don’t make the efforts needed to adjust their schedules and arrive on time. They learn nothing from their mistakes because they don’t care that they have made a mistake.
How can habitual lateness be changed? How can people learn to be on time?
First of all, the person who is habitually late must realize that his lateness is a problem, and he must want to change. He must decide that being on time is a way to show respect to others, and he must make being on time an important priority. Being on time doesn’t just happen. It has to be managed and created.
You have to learn to create a sense of urgency about being on time. This takes practice and commitment.
Many people who are habitually late have a very fuzzy idea of how long it takes them to get ready for a meeting or a date. They don’t really know how long it takes to get to a particular location. They don’t plan for all the little details like getting gas for their car and finding a parking space, or walking to the office and waiting for an elevator.
While they are getting ready, they let all sorts of other projects get in the way and distract them. The garbage needs to be taken out. The phone needs to be answered. The dog needs to be cuddled.
The easiest way to be on time is to be realistic about how much time it will actually take you to get ready. Be realistic about how long it will take you to get to where you are heading. Don’t let any other projects get in the way.
Work backwards from the time of your date or meeting. Write down a schedule, minute by minute if you have to. Allow yourself time to do all the necessary activities you need to do. If anything takes longer than you expected, decide which activities you need to drop to be on time. Don’t start any new projects, not even tiny projects that take only a minute or two. Be prepared to drop everything that gets in the way of being on time.
Learn to give yourself credit for being on time. Value this quality in yourself. Other people will value this quality too.
Be sure to read the other articles about time management on this site.
This article was written by Royane Real, author of Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends
Do you want to learn how to have a better social life and make more friends? Download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real
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