By Royane Real

Author of  “How You Can Be Smarter - Use Your Brain to Learn Faster, Remember Better and Be More Creative” 

Do you suffer from a lack of self confidence?  A lack of self confidence can be crippling to any person.  A lack of confidence will keep you from fulfilling your potential in life.  You will be too afraid to express yourself, too afraid to use your talents, too afraid to claim the love you want.

Why do some people have so much self confidence even though they don’t have much talent, while others who are far more talented end up being afraid to go for the life they really want to have?

To be fully confident, you have to have faith in yourself and in your ability.  You also have to believe that you deserve to have good things happen to you.

You can’t be truly self confident when your mind is filled with negative self beliefs.

If you want to create more self confidence, you need to examine, challenge, and change your negative opinions of yourself.  But how do you overcome negative beliefs?    

You have to remember that you weren’t born feeling negative about yourself.  You came into this world, just happy to be here, and ready to explore.  You were filled with love and possibility.  You didn’t have ridiculously high standards that you measured yourself against.  You didn’t criticize yourself harshly every time you made a mistake.

If your mind is now filled with negative thoughts about yourself, these are thoughts you decided to believe.  Just because you decided to believe these negative thoughts doesn’t meant these thoughts are actually true. Your negative beliefs are really just an opinion.

And that is good news!

Why is it good news to learn that your negative thoughts are just opinions?  Because opinions can be challenged and opinions can be changed!

Here is one technique you can use to help yourself overcome negative beliefs.

Write down all the beliefs you currently have about yourself, whether they are positive or negative.  Include such beliefs as whether or not you think you are lovable, and whether or not you think you deserve to have good things in your life. 

Then, start to go through your beliefs, one by one, and ask yourself which of your beliefs are simply your opinions that you have formed, and which ones are actual facts. 

If you think one of your negative opinions is a fact, ask yourself what evidence you have that proves your negative opinion is true.  Then ask yourself what evidence you have that proves your negative opinion is not true.

Here’s a hint – just because you feel something very strongly does not mean that it proves it is a fact.

For example, even if you feel very strongly that everything you do is wrong, those strong feelings are actually not factual evidence.  Strong feelings don’t prove your opinion is correct.   Train yourself to look for real facts and real evidence.

Let’s say that you have always believed this opinion:  “I can’t do anything right.  Everything always goes wrong for me.”

With a self limiting belief like this, you will never have the courage to attempt anything, because you have already convinced yourself that all your efforts will fail.

If you start to really examine this belief, looking for factual evidence while you try to sort out if it’s true or not true, you would probably have to conclude something like this:

“Even though I often say to myself that I can’t do anything right, it’s not really true.  There’s a lot of things that I do very well.  There are some things that I do less well, and there are some things that I don’t do well at all.

In fact, this is true of everybody.  Nobody does everything perfectly. Nobody succeeds all the time.

I don’t need to put myself down for not doing everything perfectly because nobody can be perfect at everything. 

I can try to do my best at the things that I think are important to me.  I can let go of the outcome.”

This is a more realistic statement and attitude because it acknowledges reality.  Nobody does every single thing perfectly all the time.  We don’t need to be perfect. 

There is a lot of freedom and relief in accepting the reality of that situation.

Remember to keep challenging your negative thoughts about yourself.  Don’t just assume that because you feel bad about yourself, that this proves there really is something bad about yourself. 

If you find it difficult to overcome your negative beliefs by yourself, seek out a trained professional psychotherapist who can help you overcome your negative beliefs. 

When you develop the habit of thinking about yourself in a more positive and realistic way, your self confidence will increase and you will finally have the courage to pursue your dreams. 

This article was written by Royane Real who is the author of the book  “How You Can Be Smarter - Use Your Brain to Learn Faster, Remember Better and Be More Creative”  Download it today and learn more ways to get the maximum use of your brainpower. It’s available at  http://www.lulu.com/real 

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