Royane Real
Dealing With the Feelings of Jealousy
By: Nicky Vanvalkenburgh
Have you ever felt jealous or envious of a friend?
Suppose you run into a friend at the grocery store. She tells you about something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life. "That's terrific," you say. Initially, you meant every word.
"Why her?" You later think. "What about me? When am I going to get a break?" All of a sudden, the joy that you initially felt is replaced with jealousy, envy, and self-pity.
Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.
Whenever you're aware of your emotions, it’s easier to deal with them. Instead of allowing these feelings to spiral out of control, here are some "self-talk" statements for turning things around:
1. "I'm happy for my friend. Good for them!" Let go of your negative feelings, and find a way to express happiness for your friend. If the tables were turned, you'd want them to be happy for you.
2. "I'm inspired by my friend's success." Instead of dwelling on negative emotions, allow yourself to be inspired. Perhaps you can think about what you want to accomplish, and how you could make things happen. Use your friend's energy as fuel. Be inspired to pursue your own dreams.
3."If it's possible to them, it's also possible for me." Change your attitude by having a possibility mindset. Allow this optimism to permeate your being, and change your outlook.
At times, almost everyone feels jealous or envious of others. We don't have to dwell on those feelings. Instead of brooding, recognize your feelings and release them. Just let it go. When werelease negative emotions (rather than holding on to them), we'll experience happiness and peace of mind. We're also getting on the road to less stress, everytime.
Writer Nicky Vanvalkenburgh invites you to visit her website at http://www.20minutestolessstress.com/ Check out her 90-second movies about the brain, emotions and stress.
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