By Royane Real

Author of  "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends"

Whenever we meet somebody new, we size that person up in just a few seconds.   

A few seconds - that’s all it takes to decide whether or not we like somebody.  Whether we trust them.  Whether or not we want to get to know them better.  We make snap judgments about others all the time based on our first impressions of them.  And other people are constantly making snap judgments about us too.

Once we make these snap judgments about other people, we rarely change our minds later. 

We rarely change our minds after a first impression because humans are hard-wired to make snap judgments. 

Why is this?  It could be because our ancestors rarely had the luxury of taking weeks and weeks to decide which situations were dangerous for them and which situations were safe.  If our ancestors came across a group of people while they were out hunting, they would have to decide within seconds whether these new people were friends or enemies. 

If they judged wrong, they might not survive the encounter.  We seem to have inherited this kind of brain, with its need to make snap judgments about others, based on first impressions.  Our brains seem to have a built-in mechanism for deciding rather quickly which people we should trust, and which people we should avoid. 

If a new person seems a bit different from what we are expecting or what we are used to, we may feel suspicious of them or even hostile.  If that person doesn’t look us in the eye, or if he says something the slightest bit odd, we may instantly and forever decide that this is a person we want nothing to do with.

So, are we always right in our first impressions of other people?  Not necessarily.  Sometimes we do change our minds about the people we have met, but it’s rare.  When we change our minds about people we already know, we tell ourselves that we now have some new information that we didn't have before.  Or we tell ourselves that the other person has somehow changed.  We rarely think to ourselves that perhaps our first impression was wrong.  

Sometimes we get an odd feeling about a new person we meet, and it turns out that we are right.  The other person is eventually revealed to be a crook or a serial killer.

It's worth remembering that our human tendency to make snap decisions isn't always right.

Sometimes when we get an odd feeling about somebody, we are simply wrong.  That person is simply a bit different, that’s all.  In fact, we might even discover that person can become a treasured friend if we get to know them better.

Sometimes it's worth making the effort to wait a bit longer before deciding whether this new person is a friend or foe. 

If you have a tendency to be suspicious of most people you meet until you know them better, you may be too judgmental.  By being too judgmental, you may be cutting off the possibilities of good friendships and relationships.

On the other hand, if you are always too trusting, you may end up getting exploited by people who will manipulate you for their own gain.

So, what is the best way to approach new people?  Don’t make snap judgments before you get to know them.  Enter into new relationships with an open mind, and open eyes.

This article by Royane Real, author of the downloadable book "Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends"  Do you want to learn how to meet new friends and develop good friendships?  Download this book today at http://www.lulu.com/real   

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

Discover more information at this link:                                                           http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10542/CD1323/ 

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites