By: Peter Murphy  

Introductory comments by Royane Real

Author of  “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”

Do you feel inadequate and awkward whenever you have to interact with new people?  Do you find it hard to make conversation with others? Is making new friends something that you find it difficult to do?

If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions, chances are that you could benefit from improving your social skills.

Social skills is a term that covers every aspect of how we interact with other human beings.  Social skills includes our ability to express ourselves, our ability to understand and empathize with others, and our ability to pick up on the social cues that other people offer us when we interact with them.

Some people are born with great ability to feel comfortable with others.  These people tend to have very good social skills.  They feel socially confident, and they act effectively in most social situations.

However, no one has perfect social skills all the time.  Having good social skills is more of an art than it is a science, and this skill can be learned.

Not everyone is blessed with great social skills.  Most of us have to learn the subtle skills and rules that govern the basis of talking and interacting with other people.  We have to use a lot of trial and error in improving our social skills.

If we happen to be extremely sensitive, we may have difficulties in expressing ourselves to other people.  We will worry too much about how other people react to us, and this can keep us from expressing ourselves fully.

If we are very insensitive emotionally, we will also have poor social skills.  Those people who are insensitive emotionally won’t be able to have true empathy with others, although they may be able to manipulate others to do what they want.

The following article by conversation author Peter Murphy will give you some ideas how you can improve your social skills.

Most of us can benefit by improving our social skills.  This does not mean we have to learn to be manipulative or false.  It means we pay attention to what is really going on internally inside of us, and externally in the social environment around us.

We can pay more attention to how we interact with others and then decide if what we are doing is bringing us what we want, or if it is bringing us what we don’t want.

( The comments above are by Royane Real and serve as an introduction to the feature article below )

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

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Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

Feature Article:

How to Go About Improving Social Skills Quickly and Easily

By: Peter Murphy

Improving social skill can be done by interacting with another person through verbal and nonverbal communication. This is carried out through speaking, body language, and listening to another person you are trying to communicate with.

Without social skills, people who find communication difficult may end up with a major social disorder later on. The causes of this are low self-esteem, lack of courage and a tendency to become a loner.

How to improve your social skill:

1. The best way of improving social skills is simply to put it in practice. By practicing, you will be able to be more comfortable later on in every social situation you can think of. When you become comfortable, you will just act naturally with other people. Being yourself is the starting point for effective interpersonal communication.

2. You can also study a technique like mirroring which involves practicing the way you smile, pose, lean, touch, and make eye contact - but this will take more courage compared to simple practicing.  When your mind is already set for self confidence, mirror practice is then recommended.

If you reach your goal of being comfortable with who you are, your self-consciousness will then dissolve. You will not even think about your self-image, how you may look, sound, and even react. You will just be thinking of the topics that are being discussed. With a high level of social skills, you will not even recognize the difference between talking with a friend and giving a speech to hundreds of listeners.

More tips on improving social skills:

With practice, you will soon be able to feel comfortable in every new type of interaction.

1. Try to think about social situations where you feel most comfortable with communicating, such as with old friends, family members or even playing a character in a role playing game.

2. Try to act natural when you communicate with people. Do not worry about smiling if you do not feel like smiling, instead of forcing yourself to smile within the situation. If you could simply bring that level of comfort to every social situation you are in, that will allow you to significantly improve your social skill.

3. Forming a social network is another big help. Try to be in places where you can communicate more. Find a group that shares your interests or even a whole community who are involved in those same areas of interest.

4. Try to create a self-help plan to bolster your weak areas, such as speaking too loudly or softly, or stuttering.

Communication means speaking and listening well. It cuts both ways - so if you can speak in front of a hundred people, but you cannot seem to listen when someone else is speaking, communication is incomplete. You have to keep in mind that listening is as important as speaking.

Try to be more attentive and listen to the person whom you are conversing with. The people whom you are talking with has listened to you, so oblige them by being a good listener. Do this and you will be able to receive clearer messages which will lead to a better conversation.

Receiving clear messages will also allow conversations to last much longer, and produce healthier fruit.

When it comes to improving social skill, nothing is more effective than just being yourself. There are many pointers on improving social skills, but the solution lies only in your own hands. Practicing is the most effective technique for improving social skill.

Article Source: http://www.articletap.com

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters 

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Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

Discover more information at this link:                                                           http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10542/CD1323/ 

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