By: Susie Cortright 

Introductory comments by Royane Real

If you are ever feel dissatisfied with your friendships, you may spend a lot of time wishing that your friends were somehow better people.  You might think to yourself, “I wish my friend Janie didn’t gossip so much”.  Or, “I wish Bill would be more considerate of my feelings”.

Do you ever stop to think that maybe you're the one who needs to learn how to be a better friend!

It’s easy to focus on the shortcomings of other people, and see exactly where they should change to keep you happy.  It’s very hard to focus on your own shortcomings and realize where you should change your own behavior.  We are often the last to see ourselves as we really are.

If your friendships aren’t working out exactly the way you would like, you need to look at the part you are playing in the relationship.  Is everything that goes wrong in your friendship really the fault of the other person?  Or does some of the blame belong to you?  Is there anything about yourself and your own behavior that you should change in order to become a better friend?

Perhaps you are sometimes guilty of the same mistakes that you are accusing your friends of making.  For example, do you ever gossip about any of your friends behind their backs?  Are you sometimes too inconsiderate of your friends?

Do you take your friends for granted?  Do you have a sense of humor that can hurt other people? When you are upset with your friends, do you make sarcastic remarks instead of confronting the issue? 

In the following article, the author Susie Cortright offers many tips that can improve your friendships with the friends you have.  Be sure to read the other articles and books available on this website that can help you improve your friendships. 

( The above introductory comments were written by Royane Real ) 

Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

Feature article:

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

By:  Susie Cortright

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn and improve upon. Here, eight ways to be a better friend.

Number One: Like yourself

The first step in having a good relationship with a friend is to have a good relationship with yourself. When we genuinely like ourselves, we become more attractive to other people. We have more to offer others because we are not constantly focused on our own image and reputation.

We become better friends because we don't cling. We are secure enough to spend time with a friend because we want to, not because we need to.

Number Two: Choose wisely

Relationships among true friends take a steady dose of time and energy--two resources in limited supply for all of us. Identify the friends with whom you wish to create a closer bond.  It's perfectly okay if not all of your acquaintances make the list. The closeness of your connections is far more important than the length of your guest lists.

Number Three: Make the time

Friends are important in many ways--so much so that these relationships often take on a life of their own. You owe it to yourself (and to your friends) to make these relationships a priority. Carve out some quality time for one another.

Number Four: Make the first move

If you want to improve your relationships, put your fear of rejection aside and start taking more risks. Invite your friends to lunch. Organize a new playgroup. Invite them over for dinner.

Too often, we fail to follow up with our friends. Don't miss out-just make the first phone call. Your friends are just as anxious to get together as you are.

Number Five: The Golden Rule

Treat your friends as you wish to be treated. Stated another way: "To have a friend, be a friend."

Focus more on being interested than on being interesting. Be enthusiastic and energetic.

Avoid complaining, gossiping, and criticizing.

Number Six: Sweat the Small Stuff

Make your friends feel significant by remembering small kindnesses. Notice her new haircut. Remember to ask about her mother-in-law's surgery. Send flowers or a simple email when you know she needs it most.

Number Seven: Listen

Good listeners are hard to find, and honing your skills can be a long-term project.

A few tips:

-Slow down. Try not to finish your friend's sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus on the speaker.

-Show her you are listening. Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs that indicate you understand her point of view.

-Minimize distractions.

-Ask questions.

-Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to vent her frustrations, not ask you for a plan of action.

Number Eight: Be loyal

We all need someone in our corner. If your friend isn't there to defend herself against gossip or criticism, speak up, and know she would do the same for you.

Susie Cortright is the founder of momscape.com and Momscape's Scrapbooking Playground - http://www.momscape.com/scrapbooking Visit today to subscribe to her free weekly newsletters and to get more information on her scrapbook club and work-at-home scrapbooking business.

Article source:  http://www.many-articles.com   

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