By Royane Real

Are you one of those people who likes to gossip?  Almost everyone is guilty of gossiping about other people on occasion.  Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not only women who gossip.  Men gossip too, although they may prefer to discuss gossip related to business and work rather than discussing details of relationships.

Gossip seems to exist in every culture, and in every age group.  Even in grade schools you will find young groups of children gossiping about their friends.  Sometimes gossip is relatively harmless and sometimes it is cruel.  Gossip has the potential to destroy lives and reputations. 

In the nursing home where my mother lives, there’s always a group of elderly women who sit together in the main hall and watch everyone who enters or leaves the building.  Every time someone passes by, these women start gossiping to each other.  These ladies put their hands over their  mouths when they gossip so they can look like they are being secretive, but since most of them are very deaf, they end up shouting all their gossip to each other.

Anybody passing by these ladies can hear what they are gossiping about.  Most of what these ladies are saying isn’t terribly important, but it’s interesting how important the urge to gossip seems to be.  Sometimes these ladies are very judgmental and they don’t seem to realize that everyone passing by can hear every word of their gossip.

I guess the desire to gossip never really fades away.  Gossiping about other people must be one of the most common activities that people share all over the world.

So, is gossiping good or bad? There are several ways to look at the issue of gossip.

Have you ever passed along a bit of gossip to somebody while saying, “Please don’t tell a soul what I’m going to tell you.”

How can you count on someone else to keep the story secret if you can’t keep it secret yourself?  How would you feel if the person whose secret you were spreading found out what you said?

How would you feel if you discovered that some trusted friends were spreading very private, personal stories about you?

It can be a big shock to find out that someone you thought was your friend has been gossiping about you.  Very often, the shock of discovering what your friends say behind your back is enough to kill the friendship.

That means you should think twice before you repeat any information you hear about a friend of yours.  Even if the gossip is true, even if it doesn’t seem to be very important, your friend might be devastated to find out you have been talking about them.

Before you repeat any bit of gossip to somebody else, ask yourself,  “How would I feel if this was being said about me?”

Here’s another question to ask yourself, “Would you repeat this story if the person this story is about were right in front of you?  Or would you be embarrassed to have them know about it? ”

When we gossip about another person, we are not really respecting them, and when we gossip about our friends, we are not really respecting our friendship.  If you ever lose a friendship because you were caught gossiping, you will realize that gossip is not really a harmless activity.  Gossip can cause casualties. 

Don’t let your friendships be destroyed by careless gossip. They are too valuable and they can't be replaced.

This article was written by friendship expert Royane Real - Author of Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends

Read more about this book below:

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

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Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

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