By Royane Real

I once had a boss who told me that whenever she wanted to make friends with a particular person, she would  “force” that person to become her friend.   At the time, I found this idea quite amazing.  In those days I was never brave enough to try make any person my friend, and I was astonished that anyone would have the courage to make friends in this way.

One reason I didn’t try to force anybody to become my friend was because I was extremely shy.  I was usually tongue-tied when I was around people.  As well, in those days I had no self confidence.  I also had no self esteem. 

Although I did have friends, I never made overtures to other people.  I never made the first move, or even the second move to make friends with other people.   I waited until I was 100% sure someone already liked me, and then I let the other person do most of the work of creating a friendship.  I never had the nerve to try to become a friend to someone I didn’t know.

I used to watch my boss’s technique for forcing strangers to become friends.  She was often very successful.  In fact, I was one of the people she forced into friendship, and her technique worked!

Since those days I have learned a lot about how to overcome shyness and how to create successful friendships.  Today I am much braver about making overtures to other people that I find interesting, and often (not always) they like me back.

I’m still not as aggressive as my boss used to be, and I don’t think I would try to force anyone to be my friend.  But I do make much more effort to engage other people in conversation and invite them to go with me to various activities.

Was my boss right?  Can you actually force another person to become your friend?  Not really.  If certain people truly don’t like you, or if you don’t have much in common, you will never become friends no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try.

Still, in many cases, it’s worth being more aggressive in making new friends, especially if you have usually waited for other people to do all the work of creating the friendship.  If I had been more aggressive about making friends instead of waiting for other people to befriend me, I would have had twice as many friends.

What does it take to force someone to be your friend?  First, you have to realize that you can’t actually force somebody to be your friend.  Friendship and liking can’t really be forced. And you can't really make people like you by trying to buy their affection.  Lavishing expensive gifts on them doesn't really work.

How can you make more people like you?  First, it helps to be reasonably nice.  You don’t need to be perfect, because let’ s face it, nobody else is.  If you are a reasonably nice person and you are trying to befriend other reasonably nice people, you will have to get other people to know you better and show that you have some interest in getting to know them.

Make the effort to spend time with them, and make an effort to have many conversations with the people you want to get to know better.  Show that you have a sense of humor and that you are genuinely interested in them.

Take a few risks.  Some of them will pay off.  Some of them won’t.   When you spend more time together in enjoyable activities and conversations, you increase the chance that a friendship can develop.

This article was written by Royane Real - Author of Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends

Read more about this book below:

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

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Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

Discover more information at this link:                                                           http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10542/CD1323/ 

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