By Royane Real

Are you always worried about whether or not other people like you?  If you think that somebody doesn't like you, do you get very upset?  Do you frequently worry that other people will reject you, even when you have no evidence?

It’s hard to make friends if you don’t have confidence in yourself, or when you think that other people won’t like you. 

If you suffer from shyness, or have a fear of rejection, or if you are very worried about whether other people like you or not, you will find that it’s worth making the effort to change your thinking.  You need to create new thinking habits and develop new attitudes in order to become more self confident.

Learning to be more self confident and more optimistic does take time, effort, and courage.  Sometimes it even requires getting help from a therapist as well to help you learn to be more confident.

Here are some things you need to understand if you want to overcome your habit of worrying about whether people like you or not.  

First, you should realize that it’s impossible to be liked by everybody.  Even very popular, very wonderful people aren’t liked by everybody.  So, the first thing you must do is to get rid of the idea that you have to have everybody’s approval, all the time.  It’s impossible to be liked by other people 100% of the time, so don’t ask yourself to do an impossible task.

You can’t really make other people approve of you.  If you tell yourself that you have to have everybody’s approval in order to be happy, then you are guaranteeing that you will be miserable.  It’s an impossible task, and it’s not a worthwhile task.  You have to settle for approving yourself.

If you been in a social situation where you did the best that you could, you can’t ask more of yourself.  You have to let go of the outcome.  Accept the fact that you can’t control other people’s opinion of you.  You can only control your own opinion of yourself.  Once you learn to approve of yourself, you won’t need to worry so much about whether or not other people approve of you.

If you are always seeking the approval of others, you will end up turning yourself into somebody you are not, just trying to match someone else’s idea of perfection.  Remember that different people will all want something different from you, so you will never be able to please them anyway.

If you change your behaviour and your deepest values while trying to get approval from other people, you are not going to get approval from your deepest self, and that is the approval that will be the core of your true self confidence.  

Why not simply decide to adopt the attitude that confident people have.  Decide that you are very likable and that you have many wonderful qualities.  Decide to believe that most people will like you, whether or not they show it.  Decide that many people would like to be your friend because you have a lot to offer.  Then, let go of the outcome.

When you start to worry that you’re not likeable, remind yourself, “I choose to believe that I am very likeable and lots of people like me.”

You may have to repeat this belief many times until it becomes second nature to you, but eventually you will really start to believe that other people like you.  You may even have to get some professional guidance from a therapist if your lack of self confidence is extreme.

Don’t envy other self confident people and think that you need to have their approval in order to be happy.  You need to learn to get approval from yourself.  Self confidence doesn’t come from outside, from the approval of other people.  When you can count on your own self approval, you won’t need to seek it from others.

This article was written by author Royane Real - author of “How to Overcome Your Shyness and Your Fear of Rejection and Have the Friends and Lovers You've Always Wanted” -  to learn more about how this special report can help you, read below:

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