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By Peter Murphy
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation
Many of us who want to be really good conversationalists spend a lot of time thinking about what we will say and how we will say it.
But we often forget that what we say is only going to be 50% of the conversation. There’s another 50% of the conversation that is going to be said by the other person.
While the other person is putting in their point of view, we still have a responsibility in the conversation, and that responsibility requires more than just waiting till the other person runs out of breath so we can start talking again.
If we really want to be successful conversationalists, then we have to stay very busy even while the other person is talking. We have to be busy listening. Not just with our ears, but with our minds, and our emotions. You see, the other person is talking for a reason. And that reason is that they really want to be heard and understood.
If you give them absolutely no sign that you are really listening, they won’t feel as if you really care and the conversation will start to lose energy.
If you don’t actively show them with your body language and your facial expression that you are following what they say, then the conversation has less chance of developing into something interesting, and the relationship between you and the other person has less chance of developing into something interesting.
If you are really serious about improving your conversational performance, you have to work on improving your listening skills as much as you work on improving what you say.
By listening attentively and responding to your conversation partner appropriately, you are showing them the utmost respect.
The article below by author Peter Murphy shows some techniques to improve your listening skills.
( This introduction above is written by Royane Real.)
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By Royane Real
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Feature article
How To Communicate Better with Superior Listening Skills
By Peter Murphy
From early on in school we have been taught that listening skills are an important part of how to communicate. It is natural for humans to use listening skills to build communication skills.
Babies learn to speak through listening. We learn about things we do not know about through listening. So, having effective listening skills can make you able to communicate better. You can learn how to communicate better through listening skills if you know the basics about listening.
The following four sections explain the key points to being a good listener and why they are important to communication.
1. Use body language to show you are listening.
Not only will body language show you are listening, but it will also help you to listen better. If you move closer you can hear better and not be distracted as easily. If you maintain eye contact you will be less likely to be distracted by something you see around you.
Also avoid fidgeting as this can show your lack of interest or that you are getting bored.
2. Repeating back parts of what someone has said to you shows them you listened.
It also helps you to comprehend what was said better. If you misunderstood, this will let the speaker know and then it can be clarified. You also show you are interested by taking their words and repeating them back. It shows you were really focused on what they said.
3. Focus on the person speaking.
You should be giving your undivided attention to the person speaking. This means you are not looking for something in your purse, glancing around the room, or doing some other task during a conversation.
If you are even slightly distracted you may miss something the person says or be at risk of misunderstanding them.
4. Do not interrupt the person speaking.
You should hear the other person out and wait for a break in the conversation to ask questions or express your point of view. Interrupting only shows you are more interested in your own thoughts than theirs.
These tips basically cover the ways to be a good listener. There are various takes on what is required to be a good listener. Some qualities vary depending on the situation you are in. These tips are based for those in a casual situation, such as at a party.
You should always do your best to be a good listener. If someone knows you never really listen then they will be less likely to want to talk to you again.
Try not to ignore what is said and show your interest and your listening skills will come across. Knowing how to communicate better through listening skills will make you an overall better communicator and someone people want to talk to.
By: Peter Murphy
Article source: http://www.articlecapsule.com
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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