Royane Real
Avoid Common Communication Mistakes
By Royane Real
Many mistakes in communication are caused by a small bit of verbal sloppiness that could have been easily prevented. Sometimes these small communication mistakes can sometimes escalate into big fights and misunderstandings between people.
For example, once I was making a luncheon appointment with a friend of mine over the telephone. I was still in my office and she was at her office. We were trying to decide on a place to eat and I asked if she would like to have lunch at a nearby deli. She asked if I was still in my office and I said I was. Then she said, “Fine, I’ll see you there in a few minutes.”
I assumed she meant that she would meet me at my office, so I waited and waited for her to show up. And waited. No show. I got quite angry because I thought she had stood me up.
It turns out that she was quite angry at me too, because all this time she had been waiting at the restaurant for me, and thinking I had stood her up.
When she said, “I’ll see you there” I thought she was saying that she would see me at my office. To my friend, the word “there” meant the restaurant. She meant she would see me at the restaurant.
It was that one vague little word “there” that caused all the problems between us.
I’ve also experienced similar mishaps in setting appointments to meet someone for dinner, because to some people, the word “dinner” takes place at noon, and for other people the word “dinner” means the evening meal.
You’ve probably got examples from your own life where one little word or phrase wasn’t understood the way it was intended, and a huge argument followed.
Often we can nip these communication problems in the bud, simply by making more of an effort to be clear in our communications. Use more specific words instead of vague words.
Not only do we need to be clear in our communications, we also need to be sure that the other person has actually understood the message we are meaning to send. We need to be sure as well that the message we hear from them is the message they are trying to send us.
One easy way to do this is to double check with them. Double check that the conversation message you are sending is the one the other person received. Double check that the message you think you received is the one the other person meant to send.
This can help you prevent much unnecessary anger and confusion in communicating with other people.
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