Royane Real
Improve Conversation Skills With the Opposite Sex
By Peter Murphy
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
For thousands of years, men and women have been complaining that they don’t understand each other. And now it turns out they were probably right.
The differences between men and women are fascinating, and sometimes maddening and frustrating. Now that scientists are putting some of their attention to studying the differences between men’s brains and women’s brains, they are noticing that there are some important differences between them.
These differences affect the way that men and women perceive the world. The differences affect the way that men and women perceive relationships, and the ways that men and women communicate. Some of the differences in communication show up very early in life, even in the first few years.
Men and women often have very different communications styles.
It seems to be a cliché that women like to talk about their feelings, and every tiny detail of their relationships, whereas men often find talking about feelings to be very uncomfortable. It is true that for women in general, relationships are extremely important. Most men don’t have a deep need to keep talking about feelings and relationships.
It’s very hard in just a few words to sum up all the differences in the ways that men and women think and the ways they communicate. And you can’t always make hard and fast rules. Some of the principles that apply to most men in general won’t necessarily be true for all men, and they don’t necessarily apply in every culture.
In the following article by Peter Murphy, you can get a hint of some of the many ways in which men and women communicate differently. When you understand some of the differences better, you will be more likely to be successful in your attempts to communicate with a person of the opposite gender.
( The introductory comments which appear above are by Royane Real, who is the author of the popular special report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” To improve your social life, download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real )
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Feature article:
Improve Conversation Skills With the Opposite Sex
By Peter Murphy
You can improve communication skills with the man or woman in your life, once you understand the differences in how the genders communicate.
1. Men and women talk in different places.
If you want to improve your communication skills you’ll want to understand the differences in style. Men will do most of their talking in public. Often, that means at their workplace.
Since women talk to promote intimacy, most female conversations will take place in a private setting, at home. This explains that old problem of the man coming home from work and the woman trying to engage him in conversation and not getting a really eager participant.
Whether they both work out of the home, or not, one has already done a lot of talking already today.
2. The genders talk about different things.
Listen in on any males talking and you’ll see that sports, money and business dominate the conversations. In the next room a group of women discuss some of the people in their lives, feelings and relationships.
3. What are the reasons men and women talk?
Women usually talk to express themselves, to connect with the other person and to support others. Men talk to fix problems or compete with other men.
4. The genders speech patterns differ.
Men don’t tend to add decorations to their speech the way women do. Women use intensifiers like ‘very’, ‘really’ and ‘much.’ Often a woman will add, ‘isn’t it?’ or ‘doesn’t it?’ which men perceive as sounding unsure or tentative.
5. They choose different words.
It’s not often you’ll hear a man say a baby is adorable. Men use words to say what they have to say and then move on. Women want to share the experience of conversation and will use emotions and senses in their conversations. Men find that frustrating.
To improve communications skills both genders should understand that the particular words a man uses would not likely be used by a female and vice versa.
6. Giving Feedback and asking questions.
It’s a common joke that men never ask for directions when driving. They are just not question askers, generally. If they do, it’s only to gather information.
For a woman, asking a question serves two purposes. One, they want to gather information, and two, they want to develop closeness in the relationship. They will sometimes ask questions they already know the answer to, which often puzzles men.
Furthermore, when giving feedback, men can be blunt and direct. Asking them what they think about a certain situation can lead to an answer like: “That’s crap!” When it is in answer to a woman’s question about an idea, the bluntness of his answer might hurt her feelings.
Men answer to the question, not the person. Women have to learn to not take it as a personal attack. Women tend to answer requests for feedback with a little more sensitivity and tact for that reason- they don’t want the other person to be offended.
We can improve communication skills once we understand the different styles that the genders use to converse. The differences in how men and women talk continues to create both smiles and frustrations!
Article source: http://netmlmarticles.com
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: how to communicate
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