By Jane Saeman

Is there anything more nerve-wracking than going out on a first date with someone new?  Your stomach may be churning with butterflies because you are so nervous. 

You want to make a good impression on this new person that you are dating for the first time, and you want them to like you. You want to impress them with your charm.

At the same time, it’s often hard to know what to talk about on a date.  What if it turns out that the two of you don’t have anything to talk about?  What if you say something stupid in your conversation?

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they are dating is they either disclose too much information or they disclose too little during that crucial first date.

If you disclose too much, you may annoy and overwhelm the other person.  If you ask questions that are much too personal, the other person may feel alarmed and uncomfortable.

However, if you have a first date conversation where you disclose too little, you will end up having a generic conversation that is very boring.  The other person will have learned nothing about you at all.  And you will learn nothing about them.

Trying to make conversation on a date where only vague generalities are being discussed can feel like torture. It’s not likely that either person will want to repeat the experience.

The best approach to take when making conversation with a new person on a first date is to start off gently, and watch how the other person reacts.  If they seem to pull back, perhaps you are revealing too much, or you may be asking questions that they think are too personal at this stage of the relationship.  Now is not the time to tell the other person where you think this relationship is heading.

You can learn more ideas about conversational mistakes to avoid on that crucial first date in the following article by author Jane Saeman.

( These introductory comments which appear above are by conversation expert Royane Real.)  

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Feature Article

What Not to Talk About on a First Date

By Jane Saeman

There are a few subject areas which are generally considered to be 'off limits' for a first date, such as issues regarding politics and religion.

However it really depends on the person that you are with, because it could be that you are with someone who loves nothing better than an intellectual debate on one of these topics. These people are definitely fewer in number than those who wouldn't be entertained by having a conversation on these issues. So until you're sure, it's best to go with the popular thought process and avoid them!

A first date is a time to get to know someone; a time to investigate if they are someone that you might like to get into a more serious relationship with.

This means that you need to find out some vital information about this person you are on the date with, and also give them similar information about yourself. Although it's good to talk about yourself, it's not good to only talk about yourself! There can be too much of a good thing right? Besides, if you're talking about you, you're not learning about them!

Answer questions that your date asks in as much detail as you would like from them if you asked the same question. Don't allow your answers to turn into sermons about your likes, dislikes and opinions about life in general.

Ask your date questions that will help you to discover the real person behind the physical facade they are presenting to you, but remember that there is a point at which questioning becomes interrogation.  So be careful you don't cross that boundary. If your date seems happy and relaxed with the conversation and question/answer process, that's fine. If, on the other hand, they start to fidget or look a little uncomfortable, it's time for a change of tactic.

Should you consider from this first date that you think you've met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, do not tell them!

Don't start talking about raising kids together, and sailing off into the sunset. This isn't the time for that. Just sit on the information that this person seems very compatible with you and take things slowly. You might be sure, but your date may need a little bit of time to come around to the idea of a permanent relationship, so don't scare them off!

Be guided by your date about the things that you should and shouldn't talk about. If you ask something and they completely clam up, then move on because it's a no-go area. As long as the conversation is flowing, and both you and your date are relaxed, then don't worry too much about what's being said, just concentrate on having a good time and deciding whether or not you want to get to know this person better. 

Article Source:  http://www.articlesnatch.com

About the Author:

Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2 

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