Royane Real
Dating Tips - The Art Of Conversation and Avoiding Embarassing Silences
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
Is there anything more nerve-wracking than trying to make conversation on a first date?
The whole reason that you’re on a date in the first place is because you really want to impress the person you’re dating, but chances are that the dream date you envisioned won’t work out as perfectly as you planned.
Just the fact that the stakes seem to be so high when we are on a date is enough to make most of us get far more nervous than usual. Even those of us who are usually quite confident may find that when we are on a date we either talk way too much or way too little, or we say things that seem to be stupid.
If you’re going to succeed on a date, one of the things you have to let go of is the idea that you have to be perfect. You have to allow yourself to be yourself.
Even though you may think you have to impress your date by looking like and behaving like a perfect person, sooner or later your date will have to know the real you.
So, relax a bit and be yourself right from the beginning. Be a better self, or be your best self, but don’t try to be somebody else. After all, you wouldn’t like it if your date was being a big phony, would you? So you shouldn’t try to be a phony either.
When you relax and decide that you don’t have to be perfect, you are actually free to find out who your dating partner really is. You’re free to have some fun. It’s easier to be charming when you are relaxed and being yourself. It’s easier to be attentive to your date’s needs and really listen when you’re not being phony and perfect.
The article below by author Sacha Tarkaovsky will give you some good pointers on how to make conversation more easily when you are on a date with someone new.
( The introductory comments which appear above are by conversation expert Royane Real.)
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Dating Tips - The Art Of Conversation and Avoiding Embarassing Silences
The first date can be a nerve racking experience and there is nothing worse than being with someone and not being able to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
The dating tip below is all about making the conversation flow easily and naturally and avoiding those embarrassing pauses that can ruin a first date.
Let’s look at the art of conversation on the first date.
1. How never to have a pause
The easiest way is to simply ask questions that need a reply i.e you don’t get a simple “yes” or “no”!
For example, if you said in a restaurant.
“Do you like the décor ? ”
You may get a simple “yes” or “no”.
However, if you phrase it differently you should get a more expansive reply i.e:
“ I really like the blue décor. What colors do you like? ”
You force more than a yes / no answer and this of course helps a conversation develop.
Always if the conversation is not flowing, ask a question that needs more than a yes / no response.
Topics to avoid:
Generally avoid any controversial topics or questions that are too personal.
Good ones to avoid are:
Politics religion, anything of a sexual nature or topics that are topical and that have generally strong opposite views.
Only if you know your date doesn’t mind debating these and accepting an opposite point of view should you engage in them.
Good topics:
You may not be the best conversational person in the world, so get some subjects you know your date is likely to have an opinion on.
Check out and learn some of the topical news stories ( particularly ones that are funny) and try and know something about your date’s favourite pastimes and interests.
If it’s music or fashion, do a bit of research so you know something about their interests.
Also show an interest in them.
Non controversial background such as family, work etc
Compliments:
Don’t go over the top with these they can make your date uncomfortable. Make your compliments subtle and never overtly sexual.
While conversation on the first date may seem daunting, especially if your date is nervous too, it doesn’t need to be.
Use the tips above and you will soon have a conversation flowing.
If your partner is nervous too, they will appreciate your effort and that will make a great impression.
Always try and ask questions where you get more than a “yes” or “no” answer as this will help the conversation flow and soon you will both be relaxed and talking freely.
Article source: http://www.ladywriter.net
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