By Royane Real

Author of:  “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”

One of the biggest social challenges we can have is when we get stuck in a boring conversation with a boring person.  The other person keeps on talking and talking about a subject matter that we have absolutely no interest in.  We want to be polite, but what can we do to end the conversation?

Whether we try to act as if we are interested, or whether we are glancing around the room and checking our watches, these people just go on talking and talking, while our mind is screaming with boredom. 

When we are with a conversational bore, it seems that nothing we do can fix the conversation.  No matter what we try, we can’t shift the conversation onto a different topic that would be more interesting to us.  The other person does all the talking while we can’t get a word in edgewise.  When we try to leave, the other person won’t let us.  They ignore all our attempts to get away. 

Most of the time, when we are stuck in a boring conversation, we aren’t quite sure what we should do.  Should we be polite and let the other person keep on talking?  Should we be rude and walk away?  Should we make up some sort of lie as an excuse so we can leave with dignity?

What makes a person a conversational bore?  In some cases, these people don’t know they are being boring.  In other cases, they are conversational bores because they are self centered.

There can be several reasons why a person might continue to talk and talk, even if you are showing signs of impatience and trying to get away.  Some boring people will even take advantage of your desire to be polite, and keep talking longer.

Sometimes the people who are very boring conversation partners are simply very lonely and they have poor social skills.  If you show any interest in them at all, they may decide you are a good captive audience there to listen to them.  They are so grateful to have you standing there, they will just keep talking and talking.

Many people who are very boring have such poor social skills that they have never learned that a conversation is supposed to be a two-way street.  These people view a conversation as an opportunity to talk, but they have never learned that in a conversation you are also supposed to listen.  They aren’t interested in learning about your opinions.  They don’t make the effort to give you an equal chance to talk and share your views.

There’s another reason why some people are boring conversationalists.  They may simply have few interests, or their interests may be so specialized that hardly anyone else is interested in listening to their favorite topics. 

The easiest way to deal with a conversational bore is to avoid talking to them in the first place, but this isn’t always possible.   We can’t always avoid the boring people in our lives.  Sometimes they are our family members, our neighbors, or our co-workers. 

When you are talking with a boring person who doesn’t seem to get the hint that you are ready to leave, the simplest way to deal with them is to simply announce that you have to leave in one minute.  This can give them time to wrap up the conversation, if they are willing to do so. 

When the one minute time signal is over, simply say goodbye and walk away.  Don’t feel guilty about being impolite, because you have already politely listened and listened for a very long time.  Many boring people are quite willing to exploit your desire to be polite, so you will have to stand up for yourself.

Don’t let the other person stretch out the good-bye.  Just be sure that you leave and don't look back!.

This is sometimes the only way to end a boring conversation or get away from a boring person.

This article was written by Royane Real, author of the special report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” 

There is some helpful advice for you in the following article by Rosanne Leaton that can help you learn how to relax more when you are having a conversation, through the use of hypnosis.

( These introductory comments above are written by conversation expert Royane Real. )

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By Royane Real

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