Royane Real
When People Don't Like You
By Royane Real
Do you feel like it’s very hard to make friends, no matter how hard you try? Do you feel as if other people don’t like you and that nobody wants to be your friend?
Sometimes when we feel like nobody likes us, it’s just our imagination.
But sometimes, it really is true that people dislike us.
There are many reasons this can happen. Here are a few possible explanations.
You may have moved to a society where the people are very tight knit with each other, and they don’t open up to newcomers easily.
You might be surrounded by people who automatically dislike people of your particular religion, ethnic background, sexual orientation, skin color, or bodily appearance.
You may be surrounded by people who reject you because the clothes you wear are not the latest and most expensive fashion.
In high school years in particular, many teens are strongly conformist, and can be very cruel to those who seem to be different from the norm. Sadly, some people never grow out of the stage of judging others for trivial and superficial reasons.
If you are really are being rejected by others, it is important that you don’t make the situation worse by attacking yourself.
This will only make you feel worse, and will make you lose confidence in approaching new people in the future.
Don’t say negative things to yourself or you can start on a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-hatred. Or you might turn your anger outwards in a spirit of bitterness and revenge towards other people. This is not a solution that will win you friends or peace of mind.
If it appears that many people dislike you, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself and the way that you interact with other people. There may be specific behaviors that are causing others to dislike you, and these are behaviors which you can change.
Ask yourself the questions on this checklist. If it looks as if any of these behaviors are a problem for you, it’s very likely that if you change this behavior, that other people will like you better.
Are you always very negative and complaining all the time? Most people find this habit very annoying.
Do you actively participate in conversations with others? Or do you hold back and let other people do all the work in making conversation. If so, learn to improve your conversational skills so that talking with you is an experience that others look forward to.
Do you endlessly talk about yourself and show little interest in the people you are talking with? Other people will become bored with you very quickly if you seem only interested in yourself.
Do you try too hard to please others, always agreeing with everything that they say, and never having any opinions of your own? People won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself.
Do you often say things that hurt the feelings of others and then say it was just a joke? Do you say mean things behind other people’s backs? No one will trust you if they think that you are basically an unkind person.
If you are being given the cold shoulder by many of the people you encounter, particularly in your school or workplace, keep looking elsewhere for people you can confide in and befriend. You can try in your church, in your community, and in your own family.
Work on developing the talents and good qualities within yourself so that you can appeal in a new way to other people with whom you will have more in common. Continue to actively search out other people who will like you and accept you.
Don’t give up trying. Keep reaching out to others, be open minded about the people you meet, and you will eventually make friends with people who truly like you.
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